Give and Take—It Keeps you Healthy

Ask Yourself these questions:
• Can you say “no” to people?
• How concerned are you that everyone else is happy?
• How do you feel about yourself when people are disappointed?
• How good are you at letting others know you need help?

When you feel most comfortable and safe, you are more likely to open up and also give more compassionately. By that same token, if you do not feel that you are on equal grounds in a relationship, it is more likely that you are not feeling safe or supported.

Think back to a time when you were upset or were in a conflict with a partner or a friend:
• Did you have thoughts of fear, resentment or anger?
• Did you feel somewhat insecure and threatened?
• Can you recall why you felt your needs were not being met in this situation?
• Did the situation resolve or not, and did you seek food or some other type of comfort for resolution instead?

By being aware of whether you are a giver or a taker in a particular situation, you can be attuned to whether you are in balance yourself and therefore, whether you are feeling safe and supported.

This is what you should know: As a giver, you may perceive that you will not be loved unless you give. If you find yourself upset that you are not being appreciated,
supported or loved enough in return, this is you.

As a taker, you may believe that you will never be loved and supported, so you take what you can now.

In either case, your perception is that you are not enough and your resources are not enough, so work on yourself perception.

This is what you can do: The Love Circle Breath Exercise:
• Begin by paying attention to your breath.
• Focus on the inhalation.
• Inhale deeply.
• Focus on the exhalation.
• Exhale completely.
• Notice how much air you can take in before you feel as though your chest is about to explode.
• Notice how easily you can let it go.
• Notice how you cannot hold on to your breath even if you try. You have no choice but to let it go.
• Notice how when you exhale completely, your inhalation begins immediately.
• Notice that there is no way to stop the cycle.
• Notice how every time you let go of your breath, a new breath comes in.
• Focus on your chest as the breath moves in and out.
• Imagine that you are breathing in love.
• Let go. Imagine that as you exhale you are sharing this love with someone you care about. As you exhale, they inhale your love. As they exhale, you inhale their love.
• Do this for at least ten breaths.

Then, see how you feel.